Meaningful Weekend After Meaningless Midweek

So all the meaningless Champions League matches have come and gone, and now it's back to business for the big boys in the Premier League. Interestingly, the two littlest big boys are about to slug it out for the title of biggest underachiever this season. My guess is that Arsenal loses by one, Wenger makes excuses, and they blow out the next team they play by 4 goals. But let's take a closer look:

Stoke City vs. Wigan

You never know which Wigan is going to show up, the one that beat Chelsea or the one that got anally invaded by Tottenham. Against Stoke at home, I'll guess a little bit of both. I've been banking on Stoke to pull out some tremendously unlikely results with the grind, and Tony Pulis does that shit better than anyone. I think I could easily be wrong here, but what the hell: Stoke City 1-0 Wigan Athletic.

Chelsea vs. Everton

Oh dear lord, what have we here? The two most and least in-form Blues we've seen in a VERY long time. So let's take a gander: Everton is injury hit in the worst possible way, while Chelsea lost Michael Essien for about a month. Don't underestimate his ability to be the engine room of a club, although in this case I think it won't matter. Poor Everton, they really aren't as bad as recent scorelines suggest. Chelsea 3-1 Everton.

Sunderland vs. Portsmouth

Darren Bent better get his shit together. We could also see Kenwyne Jones make an appearance after a long layoff. I've got Bent on the double and Portsmouth on the precipice of the Championship. Ouch. Sunderland 3-0 Portsmouth.

Tottenham vs. Wolverhampton

Tottenham are extremely in form right now, but there's something about Wolverhampton that's scrappy. At the very least, they'll make it interesting for them- for about 20 minutes. Then it's all Spurs, all the time. Tottenham 2-1 Wolves.

Bolton vs. Manchester City

Haven't seen anything spectacular from Bolton lately, but the same goes for City. I guess I'll take the Citizens in a boring match, although Robinho nabs a brace and will then reaffirm his committment to the club while trying to get Barcelona to sign him. Manchester City 2-1 Bolton.

Birmingham vs. West Ham

Birmingham's defense has been surprisingly strong this season, and West Ham have been surprisingly toothless. Hmm, I just can't help thinking that Gianfranco Zola has a trick or two up his sleeve. West Ham 1-0 Birmingham.

Hull City vs. Blackburn

This is my upset pick of the week. I've got Sam Allardyce's boys traveling to take on the shittiest team in the Premier League and they are going to make a hash of it. Somehow, Blackburn are almost as schizophrenic as Manchester City. They're favored to win, but when has Lady Luck ever ignored a footy match? Hull City 1-0 Blackburn.

Burnley vs. Fulham

The Cottagers travel to Burnley to take on one of the best home teams in the league. Roy Hodgson has got Fulham rolling though, and they're not slouches themselves in the away results category. Add in their solid defense, and I see an exciting, back and forth match in this one. Burnley 1-1 Fulham.

Manchester United vs. Aston Villa

The makeshift backline experiment continues, but this time things will be different. Aston Villa are a blazingly fast team, and they are really fucking good on the wings with Milner and Young. I think Jack Collins is returning to first team action finally, and although Patrice Evra is very very good, I don't think Michael Carrick will have what it takes to shut down Carew and Agbonlahor. Another upset from the giant-killers themselves. Aston Villa 2-1 Manchester United.

AND FINALLY, SUNDAY'S BIG BIG MATCHUP:

Liverpool vs. Arsenal

Arsenal are like Portugal- fluent footy, but easily bullied around by bigger teams. Liverpool aren't enormous, but I don't see Arsenal making a dent in Skrtl, Carragher, or Agger anytime soon. If Walcott returns, he'll have to get by Insua or Johnson, while Mascherano may make Fabregas' life miserable. If it sounds like I'm jonesing for a Liverpool win, it's because I am. Rumor has it that Fernando Torres and Steven Gerrard will be on the pitch together. Vermaelen thought it was hard marking Drogba? Try marking someone even faster, with his entire club trying to get the ball to him. Thrilling match, but in the end it's Liverpool doing the damage through its two big guns. Liverpool 3-2 Arsenal.

There you go, my picks for this week. I have a bad feeling that it's not going to swing my way so much this particular weekend, but that's ok. I'm still going to watch as much as I can.